danceoffs | showtime, a-holes

[there's a lot that's going through his head right now, there really is, but most of it carries some kind of sentiment of what the fuck, gamora.

he's about halfway to getting up and stomping his way over to her quarters like the most mature adult that he is, but in the meantime, a series of furious, quick messages:]

They would not and you know it, that's the dirtiest lie I've ever heard

Unless you told them to say it

Which would be a straight up Lando Calrissian betrayal and make you a jerk

Jerkface

You seem to be protesting it a lot for you to be so confident it's a lie.

[ it's time to just kick back and get comfortable. she has successfully changed the topic. and gotten under peter's skin as a bonus. that's what he gets for not taking care of this groot thing when clearly he is the most qualified. ]

I'm not sure who this Lando Calrissian is or what he has done, but I think you are being dramatic, Peter.

If anyone is a jerkface it is you.

Jerkface.

[there is, maybe, one minuscule straw he can grasp onto with this whole thing, and, sure enough, he's going to do it. he stops just outside of his door to send off his brilliant counterargument:]

Hey whoa jerkface is my thing jerkface you have to get your own

Those are the rules and you have to follow them

Jerkface

[(groot, by the way, is definitely the last thing on his mind by now.)]

[ is she messing with him to get what she wants, or has it become a form of flirting. it's really hard to tell. even for her. all she knows is that this is fun. and she is really smiling a lot to herself. ]

I didn't know you had ownership of a word.

What other words are your thing?

[ so she can remember to use them later. ]

I can tell you what isn't my thing

Being boring

Maybe being boring can be your thing if you want a thing so bad and you know what it suits you

[does he actually mean that? no, he doesn't. it just feels like the next appropriate thing to say in this highly mature discussion.]

[ peter. peter.

is that what you say to the woman you want to make out with? tell her she is boring? how far is that going to get you in this game of unspoken things?

she clicks her tongue as if he can her chastising him for the really stupid thing that he has just said to her. because it was really stupid. ]

are you calling me boring?

[it won't take peter long to realize just how far he shoved his foot into his mouth like the complete moron he is; in fact, he may already be starting to get a sense of that. he may already be thinking fast on his backpedaling.

which is, of course, guaranteed to produce foolproof results.]

You called me boring first!

What else am I supposed to say to that??

[#nailed it]

Actually Groot called you boring first.

[ you know semantics. if he wants to play that game so can she.

really the best thing about all of this is that she isn't actually offended. rather this might actually be her way of flirting with him.

shocking. ]

I can think of many things that aren't calling me boring back like a child.

Edited 2017-05-21 19:47 (UTC)

[he doesn't actually know what's going on here, but if he had to take a guess, he'd place his bets on the interpretation of threatening his death, just to be on the safe side. and because of that, he's going to do what may be the smartest thing he's done all day — stop right in his tracks, turn around, and walk with a purpose back to his quarters.

that's about where the "smart thing" begins and ends, though.]

That's because you had time to think about those things

Which I didn't have

So I had to go with the first thing I thought of you know how that is

showtime, a-holes

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